I'm a Harry girl. It makes life difficult when you want to punch and kiss him at the same time.
no im sorry. most the blog is the posts. just scroll. if you want specific ones tell me.
"hi harry niall how are you guys today?" the interviewer says to Harry and Niall
"were good how are you" replies Harry in a very polite tone
"I’m good thank you. So lets talk a little bit about this new album what kind of sound do you except the fans to hear?" the interviewer starts off
"well obviously with each new album we try and make the next even better." Harry starts off but is cut off by Niall
"exactly i think that we’re extremely excited I mean we say this all the time but we just love writing the music and were just excited that our fans are able to enjoy and listen to it just as much as we do."
"what a great answer niall!" Harry laughs
"so recently Harry, you became a father. how is that? how is the baby? hows the wife?"
"oh boy. its just overwhelming. i mean my incredible wife Emmi did not have an easy pregnancy. She was on bed rest twice.
The baby was born a bit early. We were so nervous. but miraculously our daughter Ava was fine. Tiny and healthy and I just remember looking finally at Emmi who had been in such pain for about 20 hours and when we both saw her we just i mean we just forget everything that had just happened. She was so relieved.” Harry gushed
"its a beautiful thing" replied the interviewer
"yes it is. I love them both so much."
"and don’t you remember the nurses at first didn’t even let you in." Niall chimes in
"what? why?" the interviewer turns her head to Harry
"there was a mix up. i mean they had just told me Emmi went into labor in the middle of a show. and basically i ran off to the hospital my shirt was wet and see through and the nurses don’t take the tattoos and a rock and roll look seriously for some reason and they didn’t believe me. it was probably the most terrifying thing. " he shakes his in disbelief
"oh my goodness thats horrible! ive never heard of that. well guys thats all the time we’ve got thanks again.
"Babe I’m going to the bus to get my laptop. Should I bring your-" As I rounded the corner to find Harry riding around with Paddy. He comes cycling over. "Hi, what did you say?" "nothing. Um do you need anything from your bunk?"
"No" he replies and pecks me on the lips.
I sat in my seat with Ava on my lap next to Lou and Gemma, watching the all too familiar 10 second countdown that would bring this show to a start, while screams got louder and louder as it got closer and closer to the moment that all these fans waited for. The moment that marked the evening as the best 3 hours of these girls lives.
They shouted the countdown, the music began and finally, all 5 boys came out on stage with the beginning song and the crowd cheered so loudly it was insane.
Watching them perform was one of my favorite things, the way they were so happy and elated when they sang it made me happy to watch someone be happy especially my one and only.
The way Harry’s voice glossed over the lyrics, the way you could see his veins in forehead and neck when he used his vocal chords, it made me fall for him over and over again.
The music was blasting through my ears, the sound a little too loud given we were right near speakers. We were swarmed in the sound.
My favorite song of the whole album is “does he know” because there was a secret that only very special people knew about. It was my song.
When the album was being put together Harry went to LA for a few days for some writing while I was home in New York pregnant.
Julian and Harry Skyped me while I was on one of my many bed rest watches, my laptop was restring on my thighs while my swollen bump covered access to the keyboard, Julian brought his guitar out and Harry belted out my song. Me being a hormonal mess, I was in tears. So through my tears I told him it was the most beautiful song Ive ever heard and I thanked him and told him I loved him.
When Harry caught my attention while the notes to my song started his eyes didn’t leave mine the entire song. From the shine of the light I caught a glimpse of a tear rolling down his cheek, I smiled up at him and nodded, assuring him he was fine. My heart swelled up at him, having that intimate moment while he was up onstage. I picked up Ava so she was nestled on my chest and hugged her close to me the closest thing I had to Harry next to me. My need for Harry was overwhelming.
That was one of the many many moments I fell in love with my husband all over again.
I’d always wondered what it would be like if i hadn’t married Harry.So much would be different I’d have a “normal life” I’d be able to go where I wanted and not be known as Harry Styles’s wife I’d be known as Emily, the person who is not ready just yet to be an adult and probably never will be, Emily who likes to paint, Emily the crazy fun person who’s friends love her so much, I’d see my friends more often, so much would be different. But when I knew I loved Harry and I knew he was the one, I wouldn’t go back even for the world. He is part of who I am.
When I first started dating him I knew I needed to think if I wanted my life to change this way. Giving this so much thought, my heart and soul into it because thats exactly what it is. My entire life needed to decided right then if I wanted to have a relationship with him. A person so precious to his fans, someone is need to treat right, someone who I had different kind of responsibility with because his fans also needed to be ok. A person known to the entire world as Harry Styles, a boyband member.
It took me 2 months after the first date to think about it, avoiding any contact with him whatsoever the odd text asking how I , I’d answer very briefly.
Finally one night at 4am in the morning, I called him up saying that I was ready and that we should try another date. He was ecstatic. we got to know each other, in quiet, till we decided that people would find out soon enough, so Harry decided to announce it to the world. I’d have to live with all the tabloids and hate but I knew what I was getting into and Harry supported me through it all, I was strong. And I knew that what I was getting in return was so worth it.
We dated for 8 months and I decided that I needed to take a break for a while to think about our relationship through if it was what I really wanted we were getting serious and I felt like it was going to fast. I’d avoided him for a while until Gemma had called me and told me that she wants to visit me. I’d agreed. She came to Bew York for a week and we had a great time. we spoke mainly about Harry and how he was. Hearing his sister talk so highly about her annoying little brother had officially made my decision. The day Gemma was leaving I told her I was going with her to London to get the love of my life.
I arrived at his London house knocking on the door hoping he was home, finally after 3 minutes the door opened and Harry stood full in his sweats and t shirt looking right at me with the hugest smile across his face I crushed myself against him kissing him till we couldn’t breathe and he whispered “you came”, I kissed him back.
A month later we went on a hike while visiting my family in upstate New York, and he proposed naturally that both had us in tears and finally I said the word hed been waiting to hear “yes” I sobbed “a million times yes! Yes yes of course!”
So as I sit here watching the crew bustle aroud backstage I think to myself, how would my life be right now? I am truly truly thankful for my decisions I made 2 years ago because I am the happiest girl in the world.
" Ouch Liam! God! I’ve had enough of this. Why does this always need to happen? Just leave me alone!" I heard Harry yell from the other room as I approached the dressing room "god I’m sorry Harry why can’t you take a joke. We were laughing with you" Liam reasoned with Harry as I was walked trying to asses the situation, taking in Harry’s torso wrapped in towel and Louis and Liam with guilty expressions "what is going on?" I asked them "we cleverly threw out one of Harry’s candles and then joked around about it and your babe here has taken it to heart" Louis explained, I turned to my husband "Harry where are your clothes?" "Over there" he pointed to a pile of his jeans and t shirt and boxers on the sofa "okay change and come with me".
2 minutes later he came to me dressed, I looked up at him “done?” He nodded I took his hand and brought him up to the tour bus where we’d surly have quiet for the time being knowing Ava wouldn’t need me for an hour or so and was happy in her aunty Lou’s arms.
"Why are you so upset?" I asked him as soon as we were settled on the couch of the bus, he stared into space "babe? What’s going on? What’s with you? Talk to me Harry." I tried again "it’s hard" he replied shortly "of course it’s hard. It’s incredibly hard" I sighed. "It’s so difficult living with the same people in no space whatsoever. I mean what happend to space?" He exhaled. I looked at him with no answers "look this is what it is. This is what you do you have all rights to throw a fit and want space obviously. But baby look at what you’re doing. Take a step back. Like you always say. Just think. It’ll come." I curled up next to him as he pulled me closer to his chest. As I was stuck in my own thoughts I heard the love of my life sniff and as I stared up at him my heart broke "oh Harry don’t cry. I know it’s hard I know. one day at a time. one day" I pleaded while I wiped his tears. I leaned back so I’d have enough room to bring him to lay down on my lap as much as I could given I was not even 5ft and he was almost 6ft "come here" he laid his head on my chest and i cradled his head, smoothing his arm and let him cry. He was entitled and he just needed to be held by the woman he loves.
"Thank you." He looked up at me. I kissed his forehead "I don’t know what I would do if you were not here. It would be 100 times worse. I’d probably have to ditch a few shows." I smiled "and you’d know how I felt about that." He propped up on his elbow to look at me. After a minute of silence his mouth was on mine. I kissed him back, with my sweet kisses knowing that sent him off with him demanding more as I giggled through our make out session at myself and listening to Harry laughing about my laughing, my phone rang interrupting us and our makeout/giggle fest he pulled away cheeks flushed and puffy lips and answered my phone "yes?" "Uh huh" "yeah well be right there." "Kay" he hung up "that was Lou. She says Ava’s hungry" he told me getting up. I plopped back down on my back with a huff, Harry bent down and kissed the valley of t shirt from my belly button up till the corner of my lips. Leaving me eyeing him calculating how long we’d have until Ava really made a scene and how long we’d have to get some action. He knew exactly what I was thinking "we don’t have time." He whispered kissing my temple I grumbled and we headed back inside.
"Harry listen to me I am not going. The end!" I yelled "but why, why I really want you to come" he tried to reason "I don’t want to. gosh why do you always have to keep on asking?" Because I know there’s a reason and your not telling me. "Well maybe I don’t want to tell you. Look Harry we have to leave soon, I’m not- I cant- I don’t want to. Just leave it ok? why do you need me to go? why cant you take someone else?" he looked me up and down and squinted "really?do u really think Id want someone else to come with me to this lunch?" I tunred away packing up the last things into Ava’s diaper bag, putting my cell phone in my pocket. I felt the tears at that point, blinking them away, Taking Ava out of Cal’s arms to strap her in her carseat. I sniffed and turned back toward my husband, "goodbye Harry. 3 days I’ll be back" being too mad I kissed him on the cheek and left getting off the tour bus to my taxi waiting to take me home to New York for my sister’s graduation.
Taking my bad mood with me through the airport as I rudely ignored girls wanting photos, I faked some smiles at ladies cooing at Ava. I waited at the gate early needing some quiet time, Ava wide awake, I set her down on my lap with her feet poking my belly. “I miss your daddy” I told her “mommy could be a bit mean sometimes. I feel so bad” I whispered feeling the tears start again, this time I let them fall, I hugged my baby close to my chest and as I cried getting my phone out of my pocket clicking it on the home screen. contemplating wether I should call him or not I decided to wait. So I texted him “…” he knew what that meant. It meant I’m thiniking of you but I don’t want to say anything. he texted back “i know.” followed by “call me when you’re ready. skype is on 24hrs” after 3 years of being in a relationship with Harry he got to know me pretty well. He knew that after a heated argument I needed a timeout. I needed to leave the situation calm down and think it through alone. Harry was the type to sit and go on about the argument. ‘He knew’ indicated that he understands.
I clicked my phone away and just sat hugging Ava watchingthe gate slowly fill up. My brain was occupied on my Harry and that last goodbye I gave him, only wanting to go back and kiss him properly and say I’m sorry but I was not quite there yet. I strongly diassgreed with him and I knew that if I called him up it was not over. We boared the plane Ava screaming in my arms impatiently waiting for food, with nasty looks given to me while she screamed I tried to ignore them and check my twitter as we waited for takeoff. Finally we started moving so I took Ava out of her carseat, making sure she was strapped in with me, draped the nursing cover over my neck and she calmed down, just as I planned, wishing I had Harry to giggle with at everyones disgusted looks at us with a screaming baby, I just occupied my self with ‘clue’ on my phone.
After the long flight of crying myself to sleep then waking up to feed Ava about 30 times , I finally decided it was time to call. Once we had landed I turned my phone on. I saw I had about 8 missed Skype calls from Harry and 4 missed calls and a text message that read “baby when you see this. call me. I know you’ve calmed down.” he knew. he always knew. I smiled. tucking my phone away in Ava’s carseat with her as we got off the plane, once I had gotten the stroller I found a bench and called him. “finally.” he answered “hi.” “baby-” he cut himself off “no no. listen harry. I’m sorry. I really am. I don’t even know ok” “okay. I’m sorry too. baby where are you. I need you here by my side.” I smiled feeling the same thing. “I’ll be there soon I promise”Ava started crying from her seat demanding her mommy’s attention I pulled her close and cooed at her. Harry hearing his baby girl from the other end “why is she crying?” he asked “she just wants to talk to you” I put the phone on speaker and harry began talking “hi bubba I love you so much, did you have a lovely time with mummy? ” avas eyes widened at what she heard, to a little 4 month old babys eyes its a little weird hearing your father from a strange device not knowing what is going on I laughed at her expression “babe we have to go we still got passport control and baggage claim.” I told him “okay go. I love you. Niall sends his love.” “send my love to everyone love you Harry.” I hung up setting my phone down in the cup holder deciding to put Ava in her carrier. We zoomed through passport control and baggage claim taking a taxi home.
The next morning was filled with getting last minute party supplies, I took my old car down to party city with Ava in tow, it felt nice to do my own thing without being in a venue locked in by screaming girls. I had started to agree with Dan when he said that it was sort of like being in a zombie apocalypse. Now I was surrounded by people that were not murderously screaming for my husband’s name or the other boys. I walked around pushing the stroller alone with just me and my girl, it took us only 40 minutes until about a group of 3 girls recognized me and asked for pictures, they politely asked if Harry was with me and why I was in town and if they could hold Ava, I never let fans hold her I just didn’t think it was a good idea, I said goodbye and went on my way.
3 days passed so slowly, the party was a blast, but I really needed to get back to Harry so when I texted him saying we landed asking who was picking me up he replied with “Alberto is waiting for you”. Zooming through security luckily again, I looked around for Alberto waiting for me, finally I spotted him as I walked towrds him my curlly bob of a husband walked right in front of me hugging me tight at first I was shocked because why is this person doing this but as I whiffed I smelt his cologne and I just hugged him back never wanting to leave, he pulled away as I giggled , I stroked his cheek pulling him in to meet my waiting lips. as we inappropriately made out Alberto moved us to the side as we were in the way, he smoothed the back of my hair and whispered “hi” I smiled and curled back into his chest for one last hug till we went to wherever we were going Ava was in Alberto’s arms while he was cooing and playing with her, Harry reached for her hugging her close to his heart right where she fit perfectly.
"Have you seen this??!" I freaked out at Harry while we took a very long turn into the arena in my cousins’ rented car after we all went out to TGI Fridays to get lunch. We made sure to keep Harry covered under one of Ava’s pink butterfly blankets and his head squashed down in between the seats next to Ava in her carseat. I made sure to keep him covered with as much as I could, I put the diaper bag on him as my cousins laughed at the scene of screaming girls who had clearly recognized me and had proceeded on screaming as loud as possible while they swarmed the car like a zombie accoplspe. "What the hell should I do?!" My cousin Leah shouted as she tried to drive through the thousands of Girls "ok ok hold on I’ll call Paul" I assured her getting out my phone and scrolling down for Paul "hello love were you at?" He answered "Paul we took a wrong turn were here but holy shit were mobbed" I told him frantically "ok we’ll send out Paddy and some guys back here. Harry’s with you, yeah?" He asked "yeah. I covered him. Everyone in here gets checked right?" I made sure no one would shoot me or my husband "eh only inside. Don’t worry we’re getting you out of there"Paul told me "oh my god, ok" I hung up , not more than 5 seconds later Paddy came rushing out with 10 security and policeman , they started shouting and pushing everyone back "Paddy’s here, they’re telling eveyone to get back, oh my god this is insane" I filled Harry in, Ava woke up from all the noise and started crying, Harry reached his hand up to her carseat to comfort her, I covered up his tattooed hand his fans would surely recognize "Harry love your hand is on her ear" I laughed moving his hand to her belly. "Lets sing her a song why don’t we?" Sarah from the passenger seat suggested "oh yeah!" I agreed, "the wheels on the bus go round and round "we sang along louder to sing over her cries soon she calmed down. Finally Paddy waved us through to the entrance of the parking lot, we stopped at the gate where Paddy met us, I rolled down my window "hi pads thank for that. " "no problem ok so we got to get Harry in, drive into the lot in between the buses, have Harry sneak in through the buses and trucks there’s a back way I’ll meet him in. Have you got everything with Ava? Do you need Harry?" He informed us "no it’s fine take Harry I’ll get in, what time is break out tonight?" I asked him "right after the show got to be ready and run" he said referring to leaving right after the show which was highly needed. It was like prison break we needed to be ready to jump straight into the bus the second the show was over. We drove in Harry sneaking out, Sarah and Leah helped me with Ava, I took her out of the carseat, the second I stepped out of the car screams so high started, at first I thought they’d found Harry I turned around to a huge car park filled with girls on all levels peering down into to gated lot, I laughed at that, I got out the stroller and bag, Leah handed me Harry’s takeout and Niall’s drink putting it in the stroller, "Leah can you get the carseat" she got out Ava’s bright pink carseat putting it on the stroller, "ahaha Emily!" Niall started from the lot running towards us football in hand "hi your drink is in there" I pointed to the seat that was under the carseat. He dove into the seat "what where" he asked peering down "Sarah you got everything?" I asked as she locked up the car "yeah think so" she said "oh god Niall babe you should know how to use the stroller by now." I sighed handing him Ava who objected he bounced her trying to soothe her as I took out the carseat that was clicked on to the frame hiding his drink he wanted, "here poop face" I handed him his drink,shifting it to the other hand as he held Ava "lets go in.where?" I asked Niall, he assured us in taking us to the dressing room. I dialed the code while Niall chatted to Kim . I peered in first "is everyone dressed? We’ve got company" I looked around, Zayn and Liam were sure dressed and surely the only ones in the room "yes. Where’s everyone?" Liam asked " no idea we just got here" I told them assuring Sarah and Leah in "whose this?"Zayn asked as they got up from lounging on the couch " my lovely cousins, Sarah and Leah" I introduced them "no seriously, they left you alone? There are literally 80 people on this production and no one is in here?" I said to them "yeah don’t know." They shrugged and sat back down getting a bag of Cheetos from the table "oh Zayn I got you a York" "yay thank you" I handed it to him. "Where is Ava?" Liam asked noticing she was not in her usual spot on my hip, I laughed "she’s with the loud one" I told them " I’m going to find Harold " I told them, I took Sarah and Leah with me not really sure what they wanted to do, knowing they would be comforatble with me and not stuck in a room with two boys who would surely say stuff I I didn’t want my cousins to hear or know. Yes they were in their 20s but they were family and stuff that happens on tour stays on tour I surely didn’t want that stuff getting back to my family. We walked down the hall "Niall you want me to take her?" " nah it’s ok. She’s laughing at me jokes " he laughed swinging her feet as she hummed reaching her tiny fingers clenching her 5 month old fists towards me "enjoying your Niall, are you love?" I cooed at her ignoring that face of "take me mommy I want you and only you" she was learning that being with mommy was best. I had other plans, she couldn’t be like this. She needed to get used to other people, slowly we were showing her that she could like other people too, she didn’t cry but she did prefer mommy. Following the smell of tomato we found Sarah’s kitchen set up, finally more people "where’s Harry?" I asked Sarah "haven’t seen him" finally I dialed his sleep dial "where are you?" Dave needs me for mic check" "oh ok I’m coming" we found the room labeled "sound" Harry was warming up into his mic with Dave at his desk " hi love you ok?" He asked " yeah just wanted to know where you went" "where’s Ava?" "with Niall" he nodded, I turned to Dave "is he almost done?" "Yeah 2 minutes I’ll send him your way" he assured me. We took a seat on the sofa, watching Harry.